Christmas pictures....finally

Well, it is never too late to post Christmas pictures...right? I am a little late getting these posted, but I still wanted to. We had a good Christmas, and enjoyed the time we got to spend with family. Here are some pictures of the kids in their pjs and some on Christmas morning.

Children

This morning I went to put Brooke on the potty....we are potty training...hooray! Anyway, Brooke looked up at me with her big brown eyes and said, "This is going to be great....it's going to be a great day!" I thought it was so adorable, I thought to myself, yeah why not...why couldn't it be a great day. So that is the attitude I am going to take....it is going to be a great day! I love kids! Like my dad told me before he died...he said, "Isn't life wonderful with children around!" I really think it is Dad! If only we were all like little children!

I don't think I am making any sense....

I am trying so hard to be positive about life right now...but it is hard! When people ask me how I'm doing I always try to smile and look at the good things in my life. I have so much to be thankful for. But I will tell ya, it is hard when you call your mom and she is crying and she just doesn't know why everything in her world has turned upside down. I get so frustrated when I can't make everything okay. I try so hard not to ask the question why? But I think it is quite surely impossible. I sit here and think about how much my mom needs my dad, and then comes that awful word again....why? I have given this a lot of thought and the only thing I can come up with is maybe this is all for us. I try to think of everything good that has come from this horrible nightmare and here is what I have come up with.

1. The other day Boyd came to me and told me he was going to be a better husband.
2. It really brings families together...I really think it has
3. We are all going to get to spend more time with my mother

This is all I could come up with, and I ask myself, would Dad do this for us again if he knew that these 3 things would come true. And I can't help but think...yes, I believe he would. That is the kind of guys he was!!

So, I have to make a choice right now. Is this going to make me a better person...or am I going to wallow away in self pity, because I can't make everything all better, and I like to be a healer of hearts. I love making people feel better, and I can't, and I think that is getting the best of me!!!
Anyway, I am going to promise right now to be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend! I promise...I promise...I promise........I don't want to have any regrets! Regrets are the worst! I hate them...they make you feel horrible! Anyway, I think I have rambled on enough! I just had to write down a few of my thoughts!!!!!

My dad!!!

On January 12, 2010 my dad, Ward Staley, passed away peacefully in his home after suffering briefly from cancer. This has been such a shock, I don't know if it has all sunk in yet. I want it to all be a nightmare and wake up and have my dad there. He has always been the one to make everything okay. We had just found out his prognosis 5 days before he died. I still can't believe it. It was so fast. I guess in a way it was a blessing, because he didn't have to suffer for very long. I feel so bad for my mom. They were so close to retiring and had so many plans made. It doesn't seem fair! The only thing that keeps us going is the knowledge of the gospel. I am so grateful for the plan of salvation, and the knowledge that we have of life after death. I know we will get to be with my dad again, and I am grateful for a Savior who made it all possible. This makes me want to be a better wife and mother. Never take a day for granted! Life is just too short! I am so thankful for memories. I will forever treasure the memories I have with my dad. I wish we had a perfect memory. I look forward to the day that we will. I will always treasure the memory of my mother with my dad those last few days. It was so tender watching her with him. You could feel the love that they have for one another. It was so sad watching my mom say goodbye to him. They loved each other so much. My mom said that she was not only losing a husband, but she was losing her best friend. I will always remember that. I believe that what ever time that has been taken away from my mom, will be given back to her 10 fold. I love my dad and hope that he knew that. The funeral services are: Thursday a viewing from 7-9, and on Friday a viewing from 10:30-11:30, then the funeral at 12:00. Just in case anyone was wondering.

Just an update....

Well, we spent the whole weekend with my parents. It was a very emotional weekend...I don't think I have anymore tears to cry. I love my parents so much and am so grateful to have had the opportunity of being their daughter. My dad isn't doing well at all, and we are expecting him to pass away this week. It is still so unreal, and I can't believe this is happening. We just found out last week what his prognosis was, and now we are planning his funeral. It all happened so fast! In a way I guess it is a blessing that he isn't going to suffer for very long. I cannot express in words my feelings for my dad. He has been a wonderful example to me and my family. Last night Boyd told me that he has never met a more patient man in his whole life! I love him so much. He is in a lot of pain, and still so patient with all of us. He has not complained at all through all of this. I think that is the main reason they didn't catch it until the last stages, is he never complained! He is such a great example to me through all of this. He is truly an incredible man! I am so grateful for the knowledge of the gospel. I know that we will see him again, and I am grateful for that. I want to thank everyone for their prayers...they have been felt. Everyone has been so nice through all of this and very supportive! THANK YOU!!!

I think I need some sunshine!!!!

I just want to have things the way they use to be, when my dad wasn't sick! I am feeling so stressed right now! I am not sleeping at night and feel grouchy all the time! I am sooo worried about my dad! We are finding out results today, and what his prognosis is. I am so worried what we are going to find out! I feel so bad for my mom...bless her heart. They have been through so much in their lives! There are all sorts of things going through my mind right now! I am worrying that I wasn't a good enough daughter, or what I could have done better. I hope I have made my dad proud! There are definitely things I could have done better. I already wish I would have taken more pictures. I am trying to remember everything about my dad that I can. Sometimes life is tough, but I know that we are going to get through this.

To make things even worse right now, we have been sick with the croup. Well, now Megan woke up this morning at 5:00 throwing up. She has been puking her guts up this morning. Nice...just what I need today, to be cleaning up throw up all over!!! I am expecting it to make it's way through the family!! The bad thing is we can't go see my dad while we are sick, so everything we get just makes me so mad, because I want to see him. So anyway, if you want, please remember him in your prayers today! Thanks everyone for being so supportive through all of this. Everyone has been so nice!

Happy Anniversary Babe!

Well, we just celebrated our 9th anniversary yesterday! I can't believe it has been 9 years already! It has been the best 9 years of my life! We went to dinner last night to Applebees, and then went up to see my Dad at the hospital. After that we came home and watched Boise State win their bowl game! Hooray! We were so excited that they won! Anyway, I wanted to Congratulate Boyd on putting up with me for 9 years!!!

Well, this holiday hasn't been how I expected or hoped it would be. My dad has been very sick for a couple of months now, and last week we found out that is was cancer. Our whole family has been very upset and we were not expecting this at all. I am worried sick about him and my mom. They ran him up to the emergency room last night because of some complications and he is expecting to be there for a couple of days. I feel horrible because I can't go up and see him because I am sick, as well as my kids. So, right now I am feeling sad and helpless. I am praying for the best. We will know more on Tuesday and can only hope for a miracle. I am trying to stay positive and strong, but it is very hard when it is someone you love so much.
I was looking through some pictures of my dad and found this one. It was taken on Fathers Day in 1994. He looks so healthy and good! I wish I could go back to that time! It is so much easier when you are young and naive. I love my Dad so much and am praying so much for him!!! I have always admired his patience and kindness. He is the most loving man you will meet! We can only pray and keep faithful!